Yes, I’m still alive and still chatting. I haven’t blogged for quite some time, primarily as I didn’t think I had much worth saying (not that such fact has stopped me often in the past!). More recently, I took a break as well from chat and then returned to the room where I feel I’ve made some pretty good friends. It’s been fun again, back to relieving rather than creating stress.
A couple of turns of events got me thinking about the issue of friendships and when they cross the line into something more… whether romantic, sexual, or whatever kind of intimate. First, two friends of mine from my current chat home, who have been friends for some time, decided to get together and have a chat relationship. In speaking with one of them, she said she had previously considered taking the next step with him, but feared “messing up the friendship” or “hurting him.” I think there are many times when friends may develop (or have always harbored) feelings for friends, and then be reluctant to confess their feelings or pursue them in order to not lose the friendship they have. It’s a legitimate concern, as the qualities that make a good friendship and what makes a good romantic or sexual relationship, while overlapping, are not synonymous.
The second event was that I am again taking the plunge into a chat relationship. I have had a friend in chat for over a decade now, and we have always flirted and occasionally been close to developing more than a friendship, but never have. Recently we’ve been talking more and more, and we decided to take that step. We have had ups and downs in our friendship over the years, primarily as we have entered into, and exited out of, other relationships, but we have maintained our friendship throughout that time, and we hope to do so even as we pursue something more.
And that’s the risk isn’t it? Certainly we all have friends we would never consider partnering with, but it makes sense that at least some of those friends would be desirable partners. This person and I know each other well; we’ve seen each other at our best and worst. We know each other’s good qualities and foibles. We know we get along and we’ve developed communication in the friendship to the point that we are comfortable communicating as lovers as well. Of course, the danger is that the loss of the romantic relationship could mean the loss of a good and valued friendship as well. But when is such a relationship not a risk? But isn’t it worth it, especially when taken with someone with whom you already have developed chemistry, rapport, and caring?