One lesson I’ve learned over my years in chat, and it’s reinforced by real world experiences, involves loyalty. I won’t rehash all my prior stories; read the voluminous rest of my blog for the context. But it’s a valuable lesson I’m still forcing myself to learn. And it’s hard, but it’s necessary.
I’ve felt a lot in my recent past in chat that the people who have mattered most to me don’t show me loyalty. They (and I don’t mean all of them) don’t stand up for me or stand by me when things get tough, or when I need them. Now, I don’t want to discuss specific situations, because obviously my view might not be correct, and this post isn’t about individual situations. It’s about what I have done wrong in these relationships in my attempt to garner such loyalty.
Traditionally I’ve been a peacekeeper. I’ve wanted to avoid conflict, or at least, help to settle them. I’ve tried to be “nice” to everyone. And I’ve hoped that would result in loyalty from others. I’ve also hoped that by showing people I would stick with them, then they would do the same with me. And at times, it’s been an exercise in masochism (to quote the Offspring, “the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”). But wow, that doesn’t work. It just makes you (me) a doormat.
Loyalty comes from earning it, yes, but also demanding it. Holding people accountable. Even friends. Even lovers. Letting people know what you need and expect, and realize that if they don’t provide those things (assuming they are reasonable), don’t allow excuses to stop you from realizing that you don’t have their loyalty, and maybe they don’t deserve yours.
jenthewallflower 
It has been a while since you have posted a blog post. And even though it is on a subject that is not ‘happy’, I am glad to see it here. I am glad to see a post from you.
Regarding loyalty … nods. I am not sure if something has happened recently that led to this posting, or if it is something in general. In any case … sends a *hug* your way.
Sometimes too … a lack of contact does not mean a lack of loyalty and friendship. Just so you know.
And … I have stopped drinking coffee from Starbucks. *smiles*
Ok so are ya not drinking Starbucks cuz it’s Starbucks? Or cuz yer just on a health kick and not drinking coffee at all?
And this topic has been bouncing in my head for a while, it just seemed the time to post it. I didn’t want it connected to any person or event, as it isn’t intended that way.
Actually….err…I am still drinking Starbucks lattes *grins* … I just wanted to make you smile for a little while. (Though I have cut back.)
Now you can roll your eyes at me again lol.